In the beginning... words!

The most famous book ever inspired or written begins by explaining how everything that was, and is, and is to come began with a word. God spoke. It was the word of God and it was spoken into all of creation. (Genesis 1:3-30)

Words have power, words have meaning. In James 3:6 it says, "The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire." And, the Bible also says in Proverbs 18:21, "The tongue has the power of life and death."

Often we hear motivational speakers and gurus emphasizing the importance of speaking positively about our situations and experiences and they have a valid point. They understand there is power in our words and we should be careful when and how we speak. But this understanding wasn't created by Brian Tracy or Tony Robbins or the countless others that came before them. This is a Godly principle and one we need to pay much closer attention.

Anyone in any relationship can attest to the fact that words can cut deep. In Hebrews 4:12 it says, "For the word of God is alive and powerful. It is sharper than the sharpest two-edged sword, cutting between soul and spirit, between joint and marrow. It exposes our innermost thoughts and desires."

Have you ever had words cut you so deep it felt as if they separated your soul from your spirit, your bones from their marrow? Probably.

Yes, words have meanings and power and they can speak hope and despair, fear and courage, life and death. We live in a society that is growing increasingly more politically correct. It seems as if we're all too aware that our words have meanings... to the point that we're unwilling to be authentic. For example, recently our Secretary of Homeland Security refused to use the word "terrorism" and instead now refers to it as "Man-Caused Disasters."

I'm bringing all of this up because we have reached a place where we're so self-conscious about how we speak to each other that we often never consider how we speak to ourselves every day. What kind of words are we imparting into our own lives? Think about it. How many times have we doubted that we could accomplish the task at hand? We say we're too ugly, too fat, too skinny, too dumb, too loud, too shy, too this and too that. We fill our lives with limiting beliefs that inhibits our behavior, prevents our potential and in essence criticizes the God that created us.

Now consider what we would hear if instead of talking, we just listened to what the Creator of the universe (who spoke the world into existence) was saying about us... to us? Would He speak life or death? The question is obviously rhetorical as the Bible is absolutely clear about what God DOES speak into our lives. My favorite verse in all of the Bible is Jeremiah 29:11 where it says, "For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope." Or, in Genesis where it all began in chapter 1, verse 27 where God says He created us in His image. That's pretty optimistic, hopeful, courageous and empowering.

Be conscious about the words you're speaking into your life every day. Our words are typically a symptom of our life experiences and the meanings we have attached to them. Many of us have experienced tough times and heard tough words that have shaped us from an early age with regard to what we believe we can achieve. All the while we minimize the God that created the universe and we block our ability to fully trust that God is in control and through Him all things are possible.

Here is how it works. Your life experiences create belief systems that create behaviors that create outcomes and results. Since you cannot go back in time and re-write history, you have to learn how to re-write the meanings you've attached to those experiences and begin establishing NEW belief systems based on eternal truth, not circumstantial situations. What meaning will you choose to attach to your life experiences?

The solution is to break the bad habit of living through limiting beliefs and begin living more abundantly through Christ. It starts with establishing new patterns in your life. Speak to yourself the way God speaks to you through His Word.

Here is a little hint to begin establishing new belief systems, new words, new behaviors and new outcomes and results. Since this requires actually "doing" something I refer to it as the A.C.T.S. Of Taking Massive Action.

Start your day with a simple prayer. (Borrowed this from my Pastor in Nashville, Mike Glenn of Brentwood Baptist Church)

A. Affirm - I tell the Lord who I believe He is... I affirm who He is in my life.
C. Confess - I confess the things in my life that I need to repent for and turn away from.
T. Thanksgiving - I thank God for what He has provided me
S. Supplication - I ask God to help me... specifically, in detail.

Lately I have received a great deal of questions regarding the power of words and linguistics and while I'm not always comfortable sharing some of the intimate details of how I sometimes pray or the goofy things I do, I hope you find some solace in knowing that you're not alone in feeling hopeless, outgunned, overwhelmed, under-skilled or inadequate sometimes. Just know that God loves to use the foolish to confound the wise. And, most importantly, God is faithful and wants you to be restored, completely. Talk with God and listen intently to the words He speaks into your life... to give you a future and a hope.

Be amazing today!

Fifteen Misunderstood Leadership Principles

Leaders commonly misunderstand, misinterpret and/or misuse fifteen leadership principles. Any one of these can contribute to creating a destructive, unhappy or adversarial workplace environment which ultimately dictates results and outcomes. Most great leaders can identify with one or two items mentioned here. How do you measure up?

1. “Winning is everything” – The most common behavioral challenge among successful leaders is the all-consuming need to win, all the time. This need is often the root of many other negative workplace habits such as arguing, tuning people out, taking credit for someone else’s idea or withholding information. Long-term profitability usually loses when this mentality is pervasive. Learn to celebrate the small successes along the way and encourage your staff to celebrate theirs’.
2. “One-Upping” – When someone proactively presents you with an idea and you immediately feel the need to improve it, or one-up the presenter, you can be guilty of adding too much value. This occurrence is common among experienced, successful people who feel that they are being told something they already know or believe that they already know a better way. A great way to build trust from your employees is to ask questions that will cause them to look at their ideas in different ways. Instead of telling them your way, teach them how you came to your conclusions.
3. “Passing judgment” – Offering an opinion in a business setting is expected. But asking people for their opinion and then making a comment about it is not okay. Nobody likes to be judged. The next time you get a suggestion, remain neutral and simply say, “Thank you.” True leadership establishes trust and if you really want the critical truth it is imperative that leaders establish a “safe” environment where your staff feels compelled and almost obligated to offer their opinion.
4. “I’m just being honest” – Many successful people believe they are straight-shooters and pride themselves on telling the truth. But, making critical comments or sarcastic remarks disguised as candor is never constructive. If you speak carelessly and thoughtlessly, the recipient will be hurt and will remember, even after you apologize. Comments that undermine someone are never instructive or funny; they only cause pain and humiliation. Confident and capable leaders always encourage and redeem, not impugn and malign.
5. “The false agreement’” – No matter how well intentioned you are, when you listen to an idea, suggestion or comment, and begin your reply with “no,” “but” or “however,” you are communicating that you know better. Great leaders allow people to fail and be “wrong” from time-to-time. In fact, the greatest leaders encourage people to fail early and often so they get it out of the way.
6. “The smartest man in the room” – Many leaders can’t resist letting everyone know just how smart they are. This is a fantastic way to insult and alienate people, which is not very smart. Before you speak, ask yourself, “Is anything I might say worth saying?” Or, “Is anything I’m about to say edifying to the people that will hear me?” If the answer is “no,” simply say nothing at all. Studies and history proves that the truly smartest people in the world were rarely the smartest in the room at any given time.
7. “Speaking when angry” – It is near impossible to lose your temper without also losing control. Some leaders use anger as a tool, but this approach often backfires and is seldom adequate for long term motivation and positive outcomes. If you get angry, you’ll gain a reputation for being volatile and unbalanced. It is human nature to avoid this type of person or at the least, only endure them until you find a better option. Always remember to speak with your expected outcome in mind. This will prevent you from speaking in anger as every leader will attest it rarely brings positive results.
8. “The need to know basis” – In the struggles for power in the workplace, withholding information is a favorite strategy for the near-sighted and insecure. This power play only breeds mistrust. You will be amazed by how much loyalty you will create when you choose to educate, mentor, teach and train the people you lead.
9. “Failing to give proper recognition” – If you want to foster resentment among your coworkers, this failing will do just that. People need to experience the emotional payoff of having their hard work, contribution and success acknowledged and appreciated.
10. “The credit claimer” – Ineffective leaders claim credit for the work of others and they often discredit what other people have accomplished. To avoid this in the workplace, just decide that the group’s achievement matters more than your individual achievement. Remember it’s difficult for your “fans” to brag about you if you consistently beat them to the microphone. Great leaders are quick to give and slow to receive positive credit.
11. “I’m human” – Excuses should never be acceptable. A blunt excuse is, “Sorry I’m late; I got caught in traffic.” A subtle excuse is when you blame some inherent failing like, “I’m bad at returning phone calls.” Ask yourself why you have such issues, and then do something about them. Great leaders are only as effective as their excuses will allow them to be.
12. “Teacher’s pet” – Leaders often say they want to be challenged, but most often those whom are most agreeable get in the boss’s good graces. When an employee gets the boss’s approval based on something other than performance, favoritism is often the cause. Great leaders always stick to expecting the outcome and expecting excellence from everyone on the team.
13. “Kill the messenger” – This typically happens because of anger, insecurity and co-dependence. Strong, confident leaders appreciate hearing constructive feedback even if it hurts. The quickest path to destruction is to continue killing the messengers when they bring you news of impending doom. If you want to win, look good, be right and survive, create an environment where everyone is safe to deliver your most pressing messages.
14. “Me” – The self-transformation of a poor character trait into a virtue is the result of feeling that your flaw is an essential part of your make-up. When you excuse negative or destructive behavior with this attitude, it prevents you from deciding to change. Great leaders understand that your true character isn’t what you allow people to see… it’s what you don’t want people to see. If you want to be an effective leader, ask others, even subordinates, to hold you accountable in areas of your professional life that need strengthening.
15. “Goal-den rules” This happens when a particular goal becomes more important than your team’s over-all mission. While this is not a bad habit in and of itself, it typically instigates many questionable practices and diminishes integrity. Obsessive goal pursuit replaces people and relationships with tasks and “To-Do” lists and can cause people to lose their manners, adopt less than honest work methods and take advantage of others. The best leaders understand that when you are driven to help others reach and exceed their goals, it becomes easier to reach yours.
    

-Be Amazing Today.

The Church of Acts or In-Action?

Relevant, Progressive, Forward-Thinking, and Evolutionary are just a few words that I've seen lately that describe the Christian church. I heard a well pointed sermon recently from Pastor, Tommy Green (First Baptist of Brandon, Florida). He was speaking at a partner church (Tampa Baptist) about the "Future Church." It was refreshing to hear a sermon that squarely hit the nail on the head without all the linguistic wizardry and sidestepping of the obvious truth that the Church is not in the business of "Cool-Hunting." On the contrary, this Pastor declared with authority that the church is about spreading the truth about Jesus in plain terms so the the Holy Spirit can work exactly the way God wills. He spoke about our responsibility and our opportunity... and I think most importantly about the power and authority in Christ through which we accomplish our mission.

It reminded me of the older days when I was publishing 7ball magazine (a youth focused Christian modern rock/alternative music publication) and I received literally weekly calls from youth pastors across the nation asking me what the, "...kids were into these days." They weren't questions out of pure curiosity, they were more in line with acquiring some sort of secret answer because they wanted to know how to "package" the Gospel more relevantly than they were currently. At that time in my life, they seemed like common sense questions for smart pastors. However, let's take a look at what all our focus on fancy packaging and laser light riddled preaching has gotten us.

Just as one brief example and just to illustrate a greater point I'm using information from CNN Politics' Election Center 2008.

Politics and political parties aside, here are the statistics as recorded:

Born Again Christians voted 74% for candidate "A"
Non Believers voted 62% for Candidate "B"

All voters between age 18-29 (regardless of faith) voted for Candidate "B" 66% of the time.
All Voters between age 30-44 (regardless of faith) voted for Candidate "B" 52% of the time.

Now, as with all statistics, they are just a sample. However, is it just me or is it telling that an overwhelming percentage of young people voted identically with non-believers?

How has the church missed an entire generation of young people? Could it be because the church has been more focused on being relevant than being real? Has the church been more adventurous than authentic? More Hollywood than Holy?

I think the answer is being revealed by God through His Holy Spirit, through His Word and through devoted teachers like Pastor Tommy. People are hurting, hopeless and hedonistic in their beliefs. They need healing, hope and the Holy Spirit... not hokus-pokus. (It's impossible to avoid some alliteration.)

Please don't misunderstand. My blog today is as much a judgment upon myself as it is to any other believer. As I admitted this evening, no one has been a "bigger" modern day Jonah than I have. Perhaps it's my 40th birthday approaching or maturity or just being sick and tired of being sick and tired but I made up my mind that I'm not wasting the next 40 years avoiding what God clearly called me to do decades ago and because of my own rebellion, fear and disobedience, I'm part of the reason a generation of young people are lost and destined to spend eternity separated from God. Pastor Tommy mentioned today that when that final day comes we don't want to be ashamed of what we didn't do for Christ. God is ready to use us mightily... right now. I've run out of excuses... how about you?

I'm personally at a place where I'm tired of standing on the river banks with scores of other concerned believers just watching the bodies drift downstream as we "pluck" them out as fast as we can... when we should be walking upstream, taking on the rushing current and stopping them from falling in to begin with!

There is nothing wrong with being relevant or in meeting people where they are... that's exactly what Jesus does. It is however critical to know that relevance for relevance's sake is meaningless to God. It cheapens the price Jesus paid on the cross. The Good News of Jesus is as real today as at any time in history. It's time the church gets back to the future... the way the disciples did. Let's see Hollywood do that!

Be amazing today.

-Frank Chimento

You Can't Read This and You Can't Hear Me!

I'm a fan of linguistics, language, and tonality and the incredible effects they have on our behavior. Not only the behavior of others but also of ourselves. Recently while conducting some research I was reminded of how often we communicate with words that send the wrong message. Not literally or logically but on a subconscious level because of something very real called Internal Representation.

For example, picture what I'm about to write: That boy saw the ball in the swimming pool.
- I can imagine that you are "seeing" a boy, some sparkling blue water and a ball. Of course you are.

Now, picture this: That boy cannot see the ball in the swimming pool.
-I'll bet that once again you are "seeing" a boy, some sparkling blue water and a ball. Am I right?

The reason this happens is because our brain refuses to process "negatives" in language in the same manner or with the same meaning as when we speak, write or read. Our brain pictures language. So, even though the above statements are logically opposite, the brain creates an identical Internal Representation because in order to comprehend the boy NOT seeing the ball, you must first visualize the ball that he cannot see.

Why is this important? Think about your children for example. How often are we guilty of vocalizing negatives like, "Don't do 'that' anymore." Or, "Don't be disrespectful or you will be disciplined." Now, picture the Internal Representation we create in our children's behavior with that sort of embedded command. In essence, we can be sending mixed signals of "do that," and "be disrespectful and be disciplined."

Imagine the life-changing attitude adjustments we will create when we focus on the words we use. Would your child look at you strange if you said, "Imagine what would happen if you did 'this positive behavior?'" Or, "When you obey what I'm asking you, great things will happen." It's perfectly fine if they "pause" for a moment because you caught them off-guard with your "new" way of speaking. It's a pattern interrupt and while they may not understand it consciously, you're really scrambling some eggs on the inside... and I mean that in a great way.

I know it sounds a bit strange but can you see how pleasant your life and your children's lives will be when they receive from you, the encouraging and expected outcome that you intend because the directions are both consciously and subconsciously focused on positive behavior?

Test it yourself at home. Think about what you find yourself saying repeatedly to your children and create another way to send the positive form of that message that enforces the appropriate response in behavior that you're aiming for.

It all ties back to why I tell my daughter to Be Amazing. It's an ambiguous phrase but it sends messages on several levels. On a subconscious level it's believed that you must already be amazing in order to "be" amazing. Most importantly, the response I get from her is all the evidence I need that the message has been firmly "anchored" in her mind that since she is created in the image of Christ, she is truly amazing. That's a great thing... isn't it?

I'm going to write more later regarding how this can and should be applied in the workplace. It's difficult to imagine how anyone can be successful without learning these basic skills and I'm surprised by how many massive companies are struggling to achieve peak performance because of minor, misunderstandings in their communication.

Be Amazing Today!

-Frank Chimento

The Limiting Belief of NLP!

Neuro-Linguistic Programming, Design Human Engineering and Neuro-Associative Conditioning have been around for some time and they have proven to be quite effective. At the least, Tony Robbins , John Grinder and Richard Bandler have made a handsome fortune by teaching the "science" and/or Psychology behind this "breakthrough" in communication and interpersonal skills. They discuss in some detail about how important it is for us to understand how the brain works, especially in its relationship to our body language, tonality, language, and behavior. In essence they believe it's important to understand how we're "wired" if we truly want to achieve success. In fact, some would argue that it is quite difficult to take Massive Action without understanding our belief systems, limiting beliefs and how to overcome them, change them or redirect them. I agree with most of this and I have put this understanding into practice and it works. And yet, I believe I have found a limiting belief in their teachings and belief systems.

All of these ideas, theories and principles point back (at some point) to a focus on the individual. They teach that we are capable of internalizing our thoughts, changing their meaning and springing forward into a new action that will transform our lives and create lasting change. But can we?

In order to understand how we're "wired," it would be foolish to assume that can be done without knowing the One who "wired" us in the beginning. Sure, you can dissect theories based on your own level of understanding, but are you positive you haven't overlooked something? How would you know?

Success and belief systems must be rooted in some type of absolute. For me, that absolute truth is defined by and embodied in Jesus Christ and the testament that creation itself declares daily. If I really want to understand how to succeed, overcome, breakthrough, etc., it is critical to first understand the desire and opportunity God wants for me. I must be willing to actively seek out wisdom that is greater than mine and I must be willing to lean on a strength that is greater than my own..., and that requires a spirit of humility. This is important because the time will come when you know WHAT to do but you're simply having trouble DOING it.

The Apostle Paul wrote about this and may have been one of the best practitioners of NLP the world has ever known (next to Jesus). He understood that anything is possible through Christ alone. But what does that really mean?

For me, now, as declared in the Bible, I am created in the image of Christ, and therefore capable of great things, not because I have a unique perspective on how I'm wired, but because when my will is entwined with the will of my Creator, nothing can stop me. Conversely, when we lean too much on our own human understanding we limit ourselves because our belief tends to be self-focused and finite.

Through a personal and intimate relationship with Christ, truly nothing is impossible... and that includes salvation and eternity. God's will for us is infinite and cannot be hemmed in by flawed human beings and our limited beliefs.

I hear people like Tony Robbins and Richard Bandler and I sometimes wonder if their knowledge has brought them to a self-anointed place of superiority where they believe they can do more than God... or that they can rival His achievement on their own.

The knowledge of cognitive science possessed by these men is remarkable and I can only imagine what MORE they could do when their belief system becomes as infinite as the God that wired them.

Be amazing today!

-Frank Chimento

The Proselytization of Freedom

While we experience an all out assault on individual and corporate freedom in America, I find the parallel with what's happening in Iran to be equally alarming. Here in the states it is becoming increasingly more difficult to discuss our beliefs openly for fear of being accused of proselytizing others. If you don't believe me, ask a Christian teenager in high school that wants to start a Bible study.

Meanwhile, as tens of thousands of human beings take to the streets in Iran, craving freedom, the United States cannot even muster the strength to voice support for their quest to defeat tyranny.

My comment isn't party related because ALL of our government representatives who have claimed our collective microphone and have anointed themselves as the mouthpiece of the American people have stated in no uncertain terms that we should not interfere with the sovereignty of Iran. God forbid! We, the people, are our government and we should demand that our talking heads express solidarity with the freedom seeking people of Iran.

How can a country, founded on the Christian faith, carrying the banner of liberty and freedom and equality for all people, endowed by their creator, stand idly by and pretend we do not condone the uprising by the people in Iran against tyranny? Why can't our elected officials find the spine to spread freedom instead of empty rhetoric and propaganda?

Recently, our President claimed internationally that we are not a Judeo-Christian nation and he is entitled to his incorrect opinion as his statement blatantly contradicts the writings and beliefs of our Founding Fathers. BUT, he didn't claim that we do NOT desire freedom or that we do NOT feel "called" as a nation to spread freedom. So when will he encourage the Iranians to strive for excellence, defeat oppression and seek freedom and equality as they too are realizing that the innate obsession to be free is in fact a God created sense of understanding.

I plan to write all my elected representatives and respectfully demand that they voice their support for the Iranian people.

I'm also going to encourage them to be brave enough to call evil for what it is. As the Iranian President claims the holocaust never happened and that Israel should be wiped off the map, when will our elected spokespersons call him evil? Are they that naive or just so stubborn and misguided that they refuse to embrace the same freedom that provided their election?

I hope everyone that reads this blog will join together and send a message to Iran, our government and the world, that the Americans are the proselytizers of Freedom because we are indeed a Christian nation and because we are endowed by our Creator and tyranny is not an option!

Be Amazing Today!

-Frank Chimento

President Clinton And The Amazing Word

It wasn't long ago when President William Jefferson Clinton lied to the entire world as he sought the answer to the question of the meaning of the word, "is." In fact, when being questioned regarding his affair with Monica Lewinsky, President Clinton was asked whether or not he had sexual relations with her. His response was, "... that depends on what your definition of 'is,' is." Was he just "spinning" perspective or did he understand that words have meaning and their meaning depends largely on the listener?

Not long ago, I was watching Justin Fatica online as he was speaking to some young people from an urban inner city. Randomly, and with all the passion he could generate he said, "You're Amazing!," to everyone of them. Based on their reaction, I'm pretty sure most of them had never heard anything like that before. They were stunned, shocked, humbled and most importantly, moved!

I find it intriguing to use language and/or linguistics to provoke response, inspire mood shifts, alter states of mind, etc., and it's quite remarkable how people respond to something fresh, something different. It's exhilarating to observe the meaning people will attach to your words and their experiences. Everyone has a different filter through which they see, hear, and feel, and when you stack them all up it's like a sensory kaleidoscope... and it's colorful when you look through the lens.

Recently, I began telling my 6 year old daughter to "Be Amazing" each morning as I kiss her goodbye before she heads off to school. It's emotional to see how she wells up with confidence and smiles. I should also point out that she is now even saying it back to me. What's more, she came home the other day from school and the first thing she excitedly told me was, "DAD! Miss Heath told me today that I was AMAZING!" The look on my daughter's face was priceless. I thank God for all the Miss Heath's in the school system that send 6 year old daughters home with a glow. My daughter attached a victorious meaning to the word AMAZING and it now manifests itself in added confidence and security. That's important for little girls.

So, what is the meaning you're attaching to words right now? What are you attaching to the experiences of your life? Is it painful, pleasurable? What are you telling yourself each morning before you start your day? In the words of one of my good friends, Life-Coach Mike Lindstrom, "... you give what you get."

Offer more than just words and start giving out amazing meanings to everyone around you and watch what comes back. Since attitude is everything... if you need to change yours, then change the meaning you're attaching to your words and your experiences. After all, it is your choice as they only mean what you make them mean.

Oh, yeah... and Be Amazing Today!

-Frank Chimento